Most times, the people we deal with in our everyday life who are our close friends or just acquaintances are not people we would label as “narcissists”. But that is also not a word used every day by people to describe their friends. Although you may see signs of narcissistic behavior in your friends or family that you just label as moody or cocky, you may shrug it off as personality issues because you don’t know what else to call it or have a name for it.
According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, which therapists use as a guide, a person needs to exhibit only 55% of the identified characteristics to be diagnosed with a narcissistic personality disorder.
So, what if you could learn directly from a therapist about how to spot the signs of a narcissist and how to deal with them?
Superiority and entitlement –
This is considered the number one sign of a narcissist. Narcissists must be in control of everything, be right, and be the best at everything. If you notice these personality traits in someone close to you, view them as warning signs. Therapists say, “Narcissists can also get that superior feeling by being the worst, the most wrong, or [are] the most ill, upset, or injured.”
Exaggerated need for attention –
The spotlight has to always be on the narcissist. You may notice that someone close to you always needs to be told they are creative, talented, smart, etc. A helpful way to identify this trait according to therapists is that “No matter how much you tell narcissists you love them, admire them, or approve of them, they never feel it’s enough.
Perfectionism –
everything doesn’t only have to go their way, but it must be exactly the way they envision it. It must be perfect. This is a glaring sign of a narcissist. They will constantly complain and not be satisfied if things are not perfect.
Lack of responsibility –
Narcissists love to be in control, but they often don’t take responsibility for their actions like anger or mood swings. Narcissists will blame everyone else for the things that go wrong by their own hand.
No Boundaries –
Narcissists will push past everyone and blame them when things don’t go their way. They often don’t consider the feelings of others.
No Empathy –
“Narcissists tend to be selfish and self-involved and are usually unable to understand what other people are feeling. They expect others to think and feel the same as they do and seldom give any thought to how others feel,” is how therapists describe narcissists.
Emotional Reasoning –
Since narcissists think only of themselves and their feelings, they may not empathize with you about how their actions negatively affect you. It can be described as this: “Your explanations, however, don’t make sense to the narcissist, who only seems able to be aware of their own thoughts and feelings.
Fear of rejection and ridicule –
Narcissists always like to be in control, but the one thing they fear is rejection or ridicule. They are not willing to be vulnerable with anyone and find it difficult to trust people, so people who want to be close to them get pushed away. This causes great difficulty for those who want to love a narcissist.
