After having a baby, there are so many things that women experience. On top of the constant exhaustion and ebb and flow of emotions, after the baby has arrived, women also have to deal with attending to every need of our new baby while also running the risk of isolating our husbands. Husbands experience many emotions while their wife is pregnant, and after the baby arrives, they are on the sidelines –not to mention, they have to wait at least 6 weeks after the baby’s born before they can be intimate again.
Let’s face it, with a new baby demanding so much time and energy, husbands often end up getting the short end of the stick by the time the end of the day comes around. This is particularly because when husbands get home from work their day has ended and they can stop and rest, but a mother still continues because they’re still feeding and tending to the baby. So, when their husband comes home, a mom’s mind is focused on taking care of the baby, cooking dinner, cleaning the house, and maybe squeezing out five minutes for a shower.
A mom’s mind doesn’t tend to slow down, but just because we are exhausted, doesn’t mean that we should alienate or neglect our better half, who played a very important role in bringing this beautiful new baby into our lives. So, when the connection between you and hubby has been lost in the piles of baby laundry, diapers, breastfeeding, and baby’s cries it’s time to get it back and get it back fast. Remind yourself of the sweet moments you both shared before the baby was here and while you were pregnant. When you are reminded of these sweet moments and you smile, share those memories out loud with your husband by sharing them with him while he sits in bed with you and watches you feed the baby or while you watch him change the baby’s diaper.
1. Include your husband in everything you do with the baby. I didn’t want to just be in mommy mode and neglect daddy. 2.Although your husband cannot bond with the baby in the same intimate way that a mother can, he can still create a bond and special memories with his newborn baby. So, when it was time to feed the baby, I would do it while I sat on the couch with my husband and listen to him talk about his day;
3.Have late-night dessert together.
4.Watch a movie together.
5.Share the Feeding: Pump breastmilk into a bottle and give it to him to feed the baby so you can catch up on some sleep. Your husband is able to have a sweet private moment with the baby and experience the bonding that you get to experience all day, every day. Knowing that my husband and I were both getting that bonding time with our baby created a reconnection between us that had been lost in the day-to-day grind of responsibilities.
6.Set up consistent date nights with each other. These dates can be in the home or out of the home. The main objective is that you are both establishing time to spend together without kids to just focus on each other.